artikeln skrev:I've got Asperger syndrome - and I'm 47-years-old

By Hilary Freeman
Last updated at 7:21 PM on 20th September 2009

It's good to know: Andrew Carmichael feels less isolated since his diagnosis

Andrew Carmichael, 47, was diagnosed with Asperger syndrome when he was 45 after a lifetime of feeling on a different wavelength to everyone else. He is married to Jacqueline, also 47, and has three sons, David, 21, Stuart, 17, and Euan, 12.

Here, Andrew, who works for British Telecom and lives in Glasgow, tells what it is like to have AS.

If a colleague's son hadn't been diagnosed with Asperger syndrome (AS), I might never have realised I had it. The more I heard about his inability to interact with his peers and his fascination with the inner workings of things, the more alarm bells rang with both me and my wife.

It sounded so similar to my own experience that I asked my GP to refer me to Glasgow's adult diagnosis team. After lots of meetings, talks with my family, investigations and psychological tests, I was told I had AS too.

It was a tremendous relief. It had taken 45 years but, finally, I had an explanation for problems I'd had all my life. Now, for example, I knew that my inability to read maps wasn't laziness, but part of a disorder. And I knew why I'd never felt on the same wavelength as other people.

The first time I remember being aware that I was different was when my family moved up to the north of Scotland when I was 14. I felt out of place. My siblings just made instant friendships, but I couldn't.

In retrospect, I had problems forming relationships from a very young age. I felt distanced from my siblings, even though they tried to involve me. I was also extremely uncoordinated and clumsy, with a big head on small shoulders - classic signs of dyspraxia, which goes hand in hand with AS.

Consequently, I was terrible at sports, never picked for school teams and left out by the other kids. I felt isolated and avoided sports lessons.

As a teenager, I was a bit of a thrillseeker, driving too fast and taking risks. Those with AS are unable to see the long-term consequences. Perhaps taking risks also made me feel something - it was a way of trying to fill in the void in my life.

When I went to university I found it impossible to build close friendships but didn't know why. And chatting up girls was tricky - they'd just think I was strange. I'd put my foot in it all the time, say the wrong thing.

If a woman asked: 'Does my bum look big in this?' and it did, I'd say yes - I'm incapable of telling white lies. I'm totally unromantic and can't be spontaneous.

Fortunately, my wife Jacqueline is understanding. We have a joke about my inability to express my feelings. I say: 'I told you I loved you in 1982. Nothing has changed, so why do I need to say it again?'

When I walk into a room full of strangers I feel tense and physically uncomfortable. I don't know how to start a conversation. If people I don't know come to my house I make excuses to leave. And I don't have close friends, just acquaintances and work colleagues.

Of course, lots of people without AS find socialising hard. But shy people can empathise - I find it difficult. I genuinely can't put myself in other people's shoes and can't tell if someone has lost interest in what I'm saying. I've been told I go into far too much detail or off on a tangent. If I'm interested in a subject, I become obsessive about it.

'My speciality is to bore people with my detailed knowledge of the space programme. This is a comfort zone for me, an escape - I feel in control. For once, I know more than anyone else, and no one can intrude on my space.

At work, I've had problems, particularly in the early days. I can't negotiate office politics and often say inappropriate things. I would think nothing of starting a new job as a junior and, within weeks, telling the managing director how to run the company. To me, it seemed logical to point out how I thought things could be improved. I didn't understand that it 'just wasn't done'.

I have a cloudy idea of myself. My AS symptoms tend to be articulated by other people.

They say I can be cold, distant, aloof and overly analytical. A previous employer once said: 'You are doing a good job but you're an enigma to me.' I'm an enigma to myself.

I love order and process and like things to be tidy. I work in performance analysis, looking at numbers. I like them; they don't have feelings and they don't tell lies.

I am learning to cope with my AS. Now when I talk I ask people to say when they've had enough. I need things spelt out. Unless someone says 'I'm annoyed', I won't notice. I don't pick up on tone of voice.

If Jacqueline suggests a spontaneous trip to the park, I'll panic and say no. Now, she helps me to get over the panic by making me think it through. She'll persuade me that once I'm there I'll enjoy it and that it's nothing to fear.

The more relaxed and in control I feel, the better. When I'm stressed, I revert to type. Concentrating so hard can be draining. I had a bout of depression a few years ago, which may have been triggered by having to make such a constant effort simply to function.

Since my diagnosis, my employer, British Telecom, has been very helpful. There's a self-help group/ intranet site and I helped to draft a factsheet on AS for other employees. My line managers make allowances for my AS and I now work from home so I don't have to deal with social stresses.

In the past people would talk about the great British eccentric - but maybe these 'oddballs' had AS. It's good finally to know who I am. It makes me feel less isolated.

Condition makes it hard to communicate

According to the National Autistic Society (NAS), Asperger syndrome is a form of autism, a lifelong disability that affects how a person makes sense of the world, processes information and relates to others.

It was first recognised in 1944 but there was no formal diagnosis classification until the Nineties, so many adults may remain undiagnosed.

More than half-a-million people in the UK live with an autism spectrum disorder - about one in 100. It is more common in males than females; the reason for this is unknown.

There is no cure and no specific treatment for AS. Those with AS have difficulty in communicating because they find it hard to read other signals such as body language, expression and tone of voice.

They are usually of at least average intelligence. They are affected in different ways and and to varying degrees.

Critics argue that AS is an umbrella term for someone who is odd. Not so, says Caroline Hattersley, of the NAS. 'The diagnosis involves three-hour interviews with the person and with those who know them. Problems include social communication and social imagination and there may be signs of dyspraxia and dyslexia, as well as sensory issues. These differences will have been present since childhood.'

The exact cause of AS is not yet known but it is thought brain development may be affected by environmental and genetic factors.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/artic ... z0RkMq8d7z

milve skrev:Om det nu inte finns någon treatment kan jag väl få skrota omkring i världen utan att behöva drillas till en som skall låtsas vara som andra fast jag inte är det.

milve skrev:Vad skall vi med alla våra berättelser till, egenterligen?

vadloink skrev:Jag fick också min diagnos sent. 40+. Och både känner igen och känner inte igen mig.

Men när det gäller en eventuell behandling finns det en spännande roman som heter "Speed of dark" av Elizabeth Moon. Dels fick den mig att förstå vad AS handlar om, dels ställer hon frågan om vad som skulle hända om det fanns en bot "mot" AS.

barracuber skrev:Jag har precis hittat den som ebok, tänkte läsa den när jag hinner. Såg att den finns på stadsbiblioteket också.

Enligt det jag läst om den är den skriven i jag-form och huvudpersonen har autism. Åas är ju AS en form av autism, en mild sådan.